I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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