You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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