I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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