My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
