Midget sex pt 2 tonight
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
