I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
