At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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