Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
