I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
