Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
