so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
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You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
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His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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