You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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