Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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