The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
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