doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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