Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
