Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
