Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
