i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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