Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
