i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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