East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I just want nice things and good sex
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
