Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
worst night to have a conscience
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid