How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.