no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude