ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
