my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
it glows. i had to have it.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
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