I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
