after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize