How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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