Ambien. No doubt about it.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
