she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
this just has baby written all over it
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
