Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
