we should wear snuggies to the strip club
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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