We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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