all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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