bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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