i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
