I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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