did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
