your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
