Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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