I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
