I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
