i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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