tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
