Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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