Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
