Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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