My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
