I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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