i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
