my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
