I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
