No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
