I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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