Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
