does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
