toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Randomize
