I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
