so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
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We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
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This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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