I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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