My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
