yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
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You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
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Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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