I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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