Christians are straight up FREAKS
Ambien. No doubt about it.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
